Can problems be solved?

A therapist takes notes while listening attentively to a client during a session.

Have you ever tried to help someone with a problem and they kept rejecting your good advice? I know I have…and it can be very frustrating! There’s a popular video with 27 million views on YouTube called It’s Not About the Nail. You may have seen it but in case you haven’t the premise is that a woman with a very obvious problem wants her partner to share her experience of the problem. When her partner tries to make practical suggestions to alleviate her distress, she only becomes more irritated!

Our English word problem is defined as a question raised for discussion or a complex, unsettled question. Our word problem comes to us from the Latin problema which means obstacle and Greek proballein to throw forward which gives us a more nuanced understanding.

Problems aren’t just questions we have about life but situations that are thrust upon us. Problems can stop us in our tracks, causing confusion, fear, and tremendous anxiety because there is no ready solution. Problems can also bring out tiring efforts to exert more control over a world that makes us feel powerless.

Many times the distress we feel from addressing or avoiding a problem leads us to seek out a trusted friend for help. However, we often leave these conversations feeling frustrated. Our culture tells us that we our problems have easy solutions. We need more than solutions to the problems of life. Carl Jung said that we don't solve our problems so much as grow larger than them. Therapy can provide the space for us to “grow larger” and see our problems in a new light.

written by Justin Ledford